to feel or not to feel?

i feel numb.

and clueless.

and hopeless.

and useless.

wattafak.

Selamat Hari Raya Aildifitri to all Muslims! =)

Selamat Hari Raya Aildilfitri to all Muslims! Maaf Zahir dan Batin, may this year's Raya will be more meaningful to us and to remember that of the happy moments,there are thousands and thousands of them out there who had lost their loved ones during Raya due to accidents and of illnesses.

The day before Raya Pa,Ma and Eya went to visit both Arwah Tokbah and Arwah Wan's graves, but sadly couldn't go as I was having my menses again! Twice for this Ramadhan okay! grrr. 8 days kena ganti. aiyoyo.hehe. Well anyways, as usual laa the day before raya was being a busy bee a bit la..running errands here and there sikit. And shopping last minute. hahaha. Since my kampung is only like what, a minute away from my house, doing things last minute is not something unusual lah for my family. I have 3 baju raya this year, 2 beli and the other one dah lama tempah but tak ambil2. heheh. ;p First day of raya was quite fun, but didn't take that many pictures of us cousins laa this year. Dunno why.And all the photographers (the other cousins) pun mostly takda, balik kampung lain and all. Anyways, the first raya was at my crib, Atok and Pakteh's family came over. Mama made soto and rendang. Yummy la as usual ;) then off to Tokmak's, which,like I said was only 1 min drive from my house.hahaha. So convenient I know. After a while, lepak2 and everything, camwhoring a bit, then pergi Pak Long's new crib in Rawang. It was quite far and dalam, but the house cantik! Malam balik rumah Eya, Wani and I membongkang like tak ingat dunia till around 10 or 11 pm.hahaha. Raya sakan laaa kan. :)

Well besides the 1st day of Raya, most of the activities I did was hanging out with a few friends and pergi open houses my dad's friends and also some friends of mine. Looking forward for more open housessssss! And shoot the foot, today's like FRIDAY and I only have like 2 DAYS LEFT to enjoy before reality hits! Aaaaaaa.Not again. =/
Anyways, I am in good terms with him now. And I realized that the feeling of hatred and whatsoever won't do any good if it goes on forever. And plus, Raya is about forgiving each other. Maybe, it's something to look forward to lah, let the past be the past, and let the future guide its way. And alhamdulillah, I'm glad we're okay, because at the end of the day, only both of us know what really happened and everything and people can just judge but they don't really know the truth.

xoxo.

facts

The basis of any successful relationship is trust. This means sharing every intimate detail with no lies, no secrets, and no unexpected skeletons. If that suddenly disappears, what’s the point in continuing? If you can’t trust your partner with something your friend told you, or with something that might affect their own situation (either with a friend, family or work) it’s clear you no longer feel you can confide in them and it’s time to pack up and go.

...

I gave a personal message to him a few hours ago.It was through facebook message. Even though he's not in my friend's list.Wished him selamat hari raya. I've forgiven him for everything. Since it's raya and it's that time of the year when you need to forget all the sorrows and think of happy things and yeah,i've decided to just let go of the bitter memories, and to cherish the good ones.

I still miss him. Period.

missing them

It was good seeing Aqish, Atie and Thirah just now.
I think it's been almost 6 months I haven't met them
I hope all of us, the clique, will be alright soon
Insyallah

future <3

A couple of years
And I'm gonna know your name
It's like I waited for ya forever
And I know this might sound insane
But it won't be long
Till we're gonna take this up
I'm talking about our future love

You're so far away
Maybe you're right next door
Got me picturing your face again
Something worth waiting for
I put all the others behind me
They don't live up
I know what I want
What I need to the T

Baby if they asked me
I would say I don't even know your name
And if they asked me
Does it change?
No, it don't change a thing
'Cause there's something
About the way you'll love me
There's just something
About the way you'll know me
That I can't explain enough
There's just something about our
Future love
Future love
Future love
There's just something about our
Future love
Future love
Future love

Walking hand in hand
Going for a second date
I can picture what you're wearing
And a kiss I can almost taste
The thought of all the ways
We'll meet for the very first time
I can see the place
Feel the love at first sight

Baby if they asked me
I would say I don't even know your name
And if they asked me
Does it change?
No, it don't change a thing
'Cause there's something
About the way you'll love me
There's just something
About the way you'll know me
That I can't explain enough
There's just something about our
Future love
Future love
Future love
There's just something about our
Future love
Future love
Future love

Oh-no!
The minute you pull up next to me
We standing there like destiny
When it feels like you're fighting
Just to breathe that's when you know
The minute I pull up next to you
Suddenly I don't know what to do
Everything inside you says that I'm the one

Baby if they asked me
I would say I don't even know your name
And if they asked me
Does it change?
No, it don't change a thing
'Cause there's something
About the way you'll love me
There's just something
About the way you'll know me
That I can't explain enough

Baby if they asked me
I would say I don't even know your name
And if they asked me
Does it change?
No, it don't change a thing
'Cause there's something
About the way you'll love me
There's just something
About the way you'll know me
That I can't explain enough
There's just something about our
Future love
Future love
Future love
There's just something about our
Future love
Future love
Future love

Raya is just around the corner!

Yippeeeee. I can't wait for raya. Hahahaha. Like a kid right. Well, raya is meant for everyone to have fun and to enjoy the feast together as a family and plus dressing up for raya is reallyyyyy fun you know :) And mind you la kan, I've been hearing raya songs and downloading it starting of puasa dah hari tu. Hahahaha. what a looooserrr I can be but so what? So long as I am haaaaa to the ppppyyyy! ;p

Tadi around 8-ish like that the housemates and I played bunga api. Amy bought bunga api and mercun yang tak beberapa challenging tapi enough la to make us all satisfied. hahaha. Thank you Jonjenggg! This week has been quite a busy week for me, with LRM's literature review to be done and tests for LRM itself and BEL. And after raya.. drum rolls.....MOOTING! aaaaaaaaaaaaa. I can't imagine what it'll be like presenting the case in front of the judge/lecturer! And her questions yang banyak gila nak tanya! Aaaaa. ;( so guess I'll be reading cases la nanti. Hmm. First time that I'll be celebrating raya without a boyfriend to wish Selamat Hari Raya and all. =/ Well it's okay. It's time for me to shine during Raya and dress up prettily! hahaha. ;p

Ttyl, much love! ;)

Personal request

I want to love someone and be loved by someone again. But when? Time will tell. :)

Busy bee

Criminal II test tomorrow (Thursday) at 8.30-10.30pm = AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! As usual, procrastination is the word for you, Syaza. Ish ish. ;(

Legal Research Method's Literature Review: Another aaaaaaaaaaa! But luckily I'm not the only one who's doing it. Thank God ada groupmates! Hehe. Gotta combine with all the work tomorrow, Friday needs to be checked by Madam Mazlina!

Ni baru je dua kerja.. there'll be TONS of em next week and AFTER RAYA!!! And, *gasps* MOOTING??????????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :o :o :o

Gogigugage

The bond that we have

No matter how depressing things may be, how rocky the situation is, for all I know, I'll always have my cousins supporting me and my sister throughout our journey of life. I've known them since like forever, be it when we were silly little kids always up for mischievous activities, up till we're all grown up where we can think wisely of things surrounding us. Had a nice talk, a usual thing we'd do whenever there's time to catch up. This time A.J's not around though. Went to Mosin and had a drink, the litar babes are back in action.hahahahaha.

See, only the silliest things that we call upon each other or the stupid jokes that makes us who we are as cousins. That bond, you can't get it from anyone else or anywhere else for that matter. We just click, and hopefully it'll last till we have kids, and even grandkids! Goddddd. Can't believe myself what's it like when we're all married! haha. ;o As usual, the main topic for the night was guys. Whether we like it or not, it'll always be our main issue. Well for now. Now, Eya, Aleen, Ina and I are all single so yeah shared all the shitty stories of our ex-es and why the heck did they screwed up, all those things lah that we talked. Haih. Guys, please let us take a break from talking about you people. but apparently it's not easy as it seems.

Even if we're heartbroken and shits, but don't look down on us as we still preserve our pride and dignity, for that matter. You people just don't know what's it like to be in a situation whereby you're being treated like a piece of crap sometimes. Sorry for the harsh words, but on the other hand, I don't bother.

xoxo

untitled

Monday monday monday and thank God it's a holiday today :) Holiday pun the workload is killing me. But baru nak start.hahahaha. Sheeeesh. Woke up quite late cause I slept late last nite (again,no surprise). Gotta do my LRM and revise on my Criminal, this thursday ada test! *horrified* :o

There are some peeps who've been asking me whether I am really ready or not to start mingling again. It is yet to be answered. Hmmm. I am ready. Maybe? Oh well. See how it goes lah, just go with the flow lah Cha. And in this modernized world where people tend to be more and more picky when it comes to dating and stuff, I don't wanna be categorized in that group. I used to be like that and it's not working. Choosy lah, itu tak kena,ini tak kena. So I gotta accept the fact that all individuals are all different and unique in their own ways. =)

Maybe there's a hikmah behind everything that has happened to me 4 months ago. 4 months have passed,huh? Whoa.. it's quite long. But to me it's still new. But thank goodness that I am moving forward. Allah will always give something special to those who wait and have the patience. Insyallah. I don't wanna hope for things, it doesn't bring me anywhere. I'm just living my life as it is now. Don't live with regrets Syaza, that's one thing you gotta remember. :)

*lapar gila now :( tak sahur. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. takpa.kuatkan iman you, Syaza.hehe.

xoxo.

fcuk

fuck you la case of the ex.

as far as i know, you're not worth it to be called an ex even

yea yea call me mean or what, who gives a shit?

fuck you and have a fucking happy life, for all i care.

you're so not worth it you know? let people judge you and your shit, on what you DID to me.

memang it's your FREAKIN loss. Get the hell outta my life, bloody bastard.

Erase me, do EVERYTHING that can make you forget me.

oh and by the way, a loser will always be with a loser, so yeah. Go figure wei.

LOL.

Let's Paint The Town Orange!

It’s easy to colour everything pretty or be cynical and darkly biting, but it’s a whole other story to delve deep and reveal who you really are, your fears, your neurotic imaginings, and what you have to say about life.

:)

Face to face, who we find sexy may rely on not just good looks, but everything about that person and our reaction to them. Their intelligence, wit, charm, strength, artistic intensity, even a great laugh. Other times an unquantifiable chemistry makes us lusty for someone who may not be our ‘type’, but still we are mesmerized.


found this interesting quote by this very cool blogger, Kelly, randomly while googling. Check out her website : http://she-power.com/ indeed this lady knows how to kick some ass blogging about women! Girrrlllpowwwerrrrrrr :)

:)

I love my friends. Very very very much so. I don't know why I'm being all mushy but there you go! hahaha. Thank you, for everything that you guys have done for me since the first day you people were friends with me, till now. LOVE LOVE LOVE. :)

You know yourself who you people are. =)

10 things

10 Random Things I Wanna Prove to Myself

1. To be able to forgive people. ( to forget is quite hard, if it's the very bitter ones)

2. To be able to perform Umrah/Hajj, insyallah one fine day

3. Pray to Allah s.w.t to let me find my true love (hehe)someday, insyallah

4. To always have positive thoughts whenever I am alone or with people around me

5. To change the attitude of procrastinating when it comes to studies =S

6. Try to save money everytime I receive my pocket money

7. To always remember that I have my fantastic family and friends to be there for me through my rollercoaster ride of life. =)

8. To stop having unwanted temptation on things that I don't need. ( VERY hard to do, though.hahahahaha)

9. Constantly remind myself that everyone's not perfect, NO ONE is perfect.

10. To have more compassion over the needy people, and to try buat amal kebajikan whenever I have the time and energy to do so, Insyallah.

:)

=o

I think I like someone. Or maybe more than one guy? Or maybe not? hahahahaha ;o

Happiness is Bliss

"If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."

- Joseph Campbell,

credits to The Daily Love. Awesome quotes! :)

Why Men Handle Breakups Differently Than Woman

When your woman tells you it is over you may be very angry at first. But as time goes by you may begin to wonder what happened and how you can get over the hurt and pain you are feeling. Men handle breakups very badly sometimes. Here are some reasons why that is.

If a man has been in a relationship for one year or more, chances are he has very few men friends that he spends time with anymore. If this describes your situation you are not alone. Women tend to have a large circle of women friends, relatives, and acquaintances that they can turn to when they breakup with their man. Men, on the other hand, tend to have almost no one they can talk to. Men are less likely to talk about the end of their relationship with anyone else and because of this they become very withdrawn. It may be many months before they discuss it with anyone, if ever.

Women show their emotions very easily most of the time. Men would rather discuss almost anything rather than things that are so personal to them. Men will pretend that breaking up with their woman was no big deal but, in reality, they may be on the verge of breaking down at any time. If you are feeling depressed and unhappy about a recent breakup look for someone that you can be open and honest with about how you are feeling. Getting your emotions out will be a big relief to you and help in the healing process.

Men dislike dating and meeting someone new. They would rather stay in a relationship that is not working any more than to have to risk being alone and having to work at meeting someone new. If you have just broken up with someone that was not truly a good match for you try to see it as an opportunity for you to eventually meet the right person to be in a relationship with. It may be hard to even think about that is your breakup happened recently, but know that it is not healthy to stay in a bad relationship.

If your woman has broken up with you, understand that you will probably feel terrible about it for quite a while. That is completely normal. Relationships are not easy. Try to figure out what went wrong so that you will have a better, long lasting relationship the next time around.

Relationships are never easy but you can learn how to have a happy, long lasting love with someone you care deeply about.

*In my case, sadly I wasn't the one who broke up with the guy. HAHAHAHAHAH. wattafak.

People change, drastically.

Hahahahaaaaaa...created a new fb account. As the old one is dead and goneeeeee thanks to the admin of fb! burrrrppp. What a buka puasa just now! Quite a lot of food jugak la makan.danggg. so much for nak kurus during puasa.Lol


There are some questions that's been bothering me quite a bit lately

1) Why guys tend to not appreciate what's good enough for them,especially girls and why they can be really selfish when they want to. (sorry to those who feel intimidated by this, but it's the fact.)

2) The fact that the littlest things that we do for people, generally, will be forgotten somehow. Tapi that thing lah yang makes it special, you know? I mean, people who tend to remember even the smallest littlest things are the ones who really take note of what we do, which is very sweet. ;)

3) Why good looking guys these days are mostly jerks? Sigh. Mostly yah.

4) Why some girls are so friggin proud of themselves in being flirty. Seriously, just be yourself la, tak boleh ke?

5) And why he can be such a coward by not being straightforward to me in wanting to mingle around with other girls whereby he even said that he wants to treat me differently from others. Well, people can change SO EASILY AND DRASTICALLY, DON'T THEY? So much for saying something, and so much for giving the wrong interpretation on that. Get a life, coward. Seriously.

If You Leave

"If U Leave"
Musiq Souldchild (feat. Mary J. Blige)

[Verse 1: (Musiq Soulchild)]
You think
I'm so full of it, full of it
But I think I'm just fed up baby
You think I can be so arrogant, arrogant
But I'm just tryna get keep my head up baby
You think I procrastinate baby
But I think I'm taking my time
You think you need to leave
But I think I disagree but

[Chorus: (Musiq Soulchild)]
If you believe you'll do best without me
Ill let it go girl, Its over
But before we say good bye
Lets give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go girl, Its over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out

[Verse 2: (Mary J Blige)]
Yeah
I think your so full of it, full of it
You just don't know when to let up, Baby
I think you're so arrogant, arrogant
But you think you're so much better baby
That I think It ain't dealt before me to judge you by your flaws & that's why
No I could criticize, but I put that aside
To focus on you & I

[Chorus: (Mary J Blige)]
If you believe you'll do best without me
Then I'll let it go boy, Its over
But before we say goodbye
Lets give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go boy, its over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out
Yeah

[Bridge: (Both)]
Now if you wanna go
Baby then I'll let you go
& even though I'm tryna hold on
I cant let you go

& if you're gonna leave me, you're gonna miss me
& I'm not saying that Ill be here waiting

Since we here right now (instead of just walking out)
Let's work to reach the point that I know we can be ?

[Chorus: (Both)]
But if you believe, you'll do best without me
But I'll let it go girl
[Musiq:] I'll just go, then just go girl
[Mary J:] But I'll let it go
It's over (it's over)
But before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go girl, it's over
But I have no doubt
That we can work it out

If you believe, you'll do best without me
I'll let it go girl, it's over
Before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave

Truth be told

Guys. guys. guys.

why do we always think about them, even if we don't wish to?

this sucks.

I got my treggings! :) yeayy

I actually just found out what treggings are haha. It's actually a combination of trousers and leggings, based on the interpretation that I've googled. haha. And plus treggings can be in many types of materials, unlike leggings, only the lycra type I think. I think so la. haha. Anyways, went for a small birthday dinner for Diey planned by her bf, Rambutan@Izzat at Delicious Bangsar Village. Was nice as there were just us there, close girlfriends sahaja. Then lepak kejap at Idaman, minum2 for a while then sent Sha Kels back to Subang. Was happy to see that girl as I dah quite lama tak lepak.Duduk je Shah Alam during weekdays, but both different classes so susah nak jumpa. Petang tadi went to OU to get my treggings, finally! After sibuk cakap pasal treggings, the mission has been accomplished. hehehe :) I'm happpyyyyy nowwwww.

Hmm.Apart from that, I'm feeling a bit empty lately. sigh. Not this feeling again. I don't know la. I mean I'm happy with my life right now, apart from the fact that nothing interesting has been going on, but I'm getting much better in being strong and everything. But trust me I'm not thinking about what had happened a few months ago and with all the after-dramas in between. But just the feeling of emptiness. Well what do you know, everyone will have that kinda feeling once in a while so it's nothing abnormal. Chill Cha :) Okay la. I need to sleep. Been sleeping late for quite a while already. Haih why la you ni Cha? hehe. Good morning everyone. Adios.
mwah mwah. xoxo.